Baby "Gear" - What Do You Really Need?

One of the most popular questions among expectant parents is, "What do we need for our new baby?" Lists from major retailers, magazines and parenting books detail the latest must-haves. However, what a new baby really needs may actually differ from what your family may need for your new baby.  Let me explain...

We'll begin with the basics.  Here is my list of baby's needs:

What does a baby need?

1. Love & Nurturing
2. Nourishment
3. A safe place to sleep
4. A car seat
5. Protection from the elements
6. A feeling of security
7. Diapers, lots of diapers
8. Health and hygiene care

Now, we'll take a look at each item on baby's list and what your family may like to have to help meet your little one's needs.

Love & Nurturing
Of course, we know that a baby needs lots of love.  That is item number one on our list.  No one can provide that for your baby but you and those who love you and your baby; and, no special "gear" is required.  Just an open heart and open arms.  Skin-to-skin contact is one way that families are able to nurture their newborn right from the start.

Skin-to-skin contact is the primal form of nurturing that can begin immediately after birth.  It helps to facilitate breastfeeding and is also helpful for fathers and co-parents to bond with their new babies. Skin-to-skin contact is essential for baby's brain and it assists in the regulation of respiration, temperature and heart rate.

Nourishment
Breastfeeding is the biological norm for babies and is the primary mode of feeding recommended by the World Health Organization.  There is no more perfect food for your baby.  Breastfeeding does require support, though, and it is especially helpful when your partner has also learned about breastfeeding and how best to help you. His or her reassurance may be exactly what you need if challenges come up. Getting involved with an organization like La Leche League International and finding other breastfeeding mothers to build a support network will also benefit you.  You may also want to find out what other supports are available in your area.  (Lethbridge-area resources listed below.)

If breastfeeding is not possible due to health concerns, separation of mother and baby, or maternal medication, speak to your midwife or doctor about alternatives. Support, again, is key!  As a mother of one bottle-fed and one breastfed child, I know that it can be a difficult and even heart-wrenching decision to make; but, no one should ever make you feel guilty for doing what you need to do for your child's health and your family.  If you need to bottle-feed, the choices are endless.  Find what works for your baby.  If anything, your baby will teach you about flexibility.

Lethbridge Breastfeeding Resources:

Lethbridge Breastfeeding Clinic
La Leche League Canada: Lethbridge
Nursing Cafe Lethbridge

A Safe Place to Sleep
Where baby should sleep has become a bit of a hot topic in recent years.  Regardless of whether your baby sleeps in a crib, bassinet, co-sleeper or in your bed with you (bedsharing), the following guidelines should be observed:

1. Babies should be put to sleep on their backs.
2. Health Canada recommends that baby sleep in his or her parents' room for the first six months.
3. Baby should always sleep on a firm surface. (See here for safety regulations for cribs, bassinets, etc.)
4. Baby's bed should not contain loose covers, stuffed animals, pillows, bumper pads or sleep positioners.
5. Parents should not co-sleep with baby if they are smokers or have consumed alcoholic beverages or certain medications.
6. Babies should not sleep in a seated or semi-reclined position such as in an infant car seat.
7. Babies should not sleep on a sofa or other soft furniture.

More on sleep:

Health Canada's Safe Sleep Tips
Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Laboratory for Safe Cosleeping (Bedsharing) Guidelines

A Safe Car Seat
For Canadians, follow Health Canada and Transport Canada guidelines when choosing a car seat for your new baby.  Remember, recently, it has been recommended that children remain rear-facing for up to two years rather that the previous recommendation of 20-22 lbs or one year. See this article from the CBC.  Also, remember that it is illegal to use a car seat purchased outside of Canada. Make sure you familiarize yourself with up-to-date car seat regulations for your country, state or province.  Remember to never use aftermarket products with your car seat.  This includes bulky winter clothing such as snowsuits.

Protection from the Elements
Obviously, baby needs clothing. Shop for the season your baby will be born in and keep in mind that baby needs one more layer than you would wear.  Basic items to look for are diaper shirts (or "onesies"), sleepers, newborn hats to keep baby warm (not for sleeping), socks and wearable blankets or SleepSacks for bedtime.  If you choose to swaddle, muslin swaddling blankets are breathable and stretchy.  Make sure you research safe swaddling techniques to avoid hip dysplasia and also keep blankets away from baby's face. For winter transport, see this article for tips on how to keep baby warm and safe.  As cute as those fancy (and pricey) name-brand outfits are, they are not "must-haves," and baby may only wear them once or twice.  Invest in the basics.

A Feeling of Security
You and your partner are your child's security.  Learning to interpret and responding to his or her cues or cries in a timely manner builds secure attachment between you and your baby.  Utilizing skin-to-skin contact, as mentioned above, feeding with love and engaging in babywearing can also help your child to feel secure.  Investing in a few safe hip and spine-healthy baby carriers can not only assist in your bond with baby, but also enable you to carry out day-to-day activities with greater ease.  Research has shown that babies who are carried or "worn" by their parents cry less, sleep better and develop better socially.

Diapers, Lots of Diapers
What goes in, must come out.  This one is pretty self-explanatory.

Health & Hygiene Care
Keeping baby healthy and clean is definitely a priority; but, it doesn't have to cost a lot of money.  Invest in a good thermometer (ask your midwife or doctor what they recommend for accuracy) and learn how to do a "top and tail" cleansing of your newborn for those early days. Soft towels and washcloths can be added to your list of necessities.  A simple baby tub or even your bathroom or kitchen sink can be suitable for full immersion bathing.

The Essentials
To recap, here is my simplified list of essentials for your new baby:

1. Love
2. Breast Milk (or alternative if necessary)
3. Safe Sleeping Area
4. Car Seat
5. A Safe Baby Carrier (or two...or three...)
6. Basic Clothing (diaper shirts, sleepers, newborn hats and socks)
7. Wearable Blanket/Sleep Sack
8. Muslin Receiving Blankets (if desired)
9. LOTS of Diapers
10. A Thermometer
11. Towels and Washcloths
12. Somewhere Safe to be Bathed

Depending on your lifestyle, you may find additional items that may make your life a little bit easier such as a portable crib for travelling, a swing for a fussy baby, or a baby gate to wrangle some furry friends.  Just know that you already have the absolute essentials to parent your baby. They are love and your maternal (or paternal) instincts.  Trust in those and your baby will flourish!

One final note, when purchasing items for your baby, please remember to check your government's recall database.  For Canada, visit Healthy Canadians: Recalls & Alerts.

You're Pregnant! What's Next?

Finding out you're pregnant can be exciting and overwhelming at the same time. What should you do first? When will you see your doctor or midwife? These questions, and more, are answered in our latest webisode.

Top 5 Books for Parents-to-Be

Congratulations on your pregnancy!  Now, what should you read?  Here are my Top 5 Books for Parents-to-Be!  From pregnancy  and birth to breastfeeding and baby care, plus the support your partner needs, each book is the best of the best!

How to Afford a Doula

Are you considering hiring a doula for your birth; but, concerned about how to afford one?  Our latest webisode gives you a wealth of ideas and insights.

Doula FAQ - Part 2 & Lethbridge Area Resources

It's Friday and that means we've released another video in our vlog series!  This week's topic continues our look at the most frequently asked questions about doulas.  We hope you find the information helpful and we look forward to answering more of your questions in future webisodes!  



In today's blog we're also including a resource list for expectant parents in Lethbridge and the surrounding area.  If you know of any additions we can make to the list, please email us at wombtocradle at gmail dot com!  

Lethbridge & Area - Pregnancy, Birth, Breastfeeding

 & Parenting Resources

CURRENTLY UPDATING...

Baby Care
 Baby Carrier Safety

• Babywearing Safety/Babywearing International 
• http://babywearinginternational.org/articles.php?article=2
• Proper Positioning 
• http://www.thebabywearer.com/articles/HowTo/Positioning.pdf

Birth/Pregnancy
Lethbridge & Area

• Birth Partnership Midwives (Cardston) - Serving Lethbridge, Cardston & area 
• http://www.birthpartnershipmidwives.com/about/cardston.html

• Chinook Regional Hospital (403) 388-6111
• 960 - 19 Street South, Labour & Delivery 3rd Floor
• CHR NICU 
• http://www.albertahealthservices.ca/facilities.asp?pid=saf&rid=1000347
• CHR Post Partum 
• http://www.albertahealthservices.ca/facilities.asp?pid=saf&rid=1000182
• Maternity Associates Clinic (403) 942-0555
• 1510 9 Ave S, Lethbridge, AB T1J 1V8
• Other referrals available upon request.

Cardston

• Cardston Health Centre
•  http://www.albertahealthservices.ca/facilities.asp?pid=facility&rid=3308

Raymond

• Raymond Health Centre 
• http://www.albertahealthservices.ca/facilities.asp?pid=facility&rid=3306

Taber

• Taber Health Centre 
• http://www.albertahealthservices.ca/facilities.asp?pid=facility&rid=3307

Breastfeeding

• La Leche League Canada 
• http://www.lllc.ca/
• La Leche League Lethbridge Chapter 
• https://www.facebook.com/LLLCLethbridge

Fitness

• Prenatal Yoga (403)634-8532
• 517 4th Ave S. Lethbridge, AB T1J 0N6

General Health

• Alberta Health Link 1-866-408-LINK

Parenting

• Family Centre 
• http://www.famcentre.ca/

Pregnancy/Postpartum Mental Health

• Birth/Postpartum Psychologist (Calgary), Gemma Stone 
• http://birthingfromlove.com/

Prenatal Classes

• Lethbridge Community Health: Getting Ready for Baby
• (403) 386-6666, 801 1st Ave S. Lethbridge, AB T1J 4L5
• Chinook Regional Hospital Childbirth Education Program
• Sharon Prusky: (403) 382-6111 or (403) 382-6224
• Birthing From Within - Lethbridge 
• Ellie Colver: (403) 360-7878 

Postpartum Support

• Postpartum Support International 
• http://www.postpartum.net/

Special Needs
Please help us fill this resource area! 

From Womb to Cradle Doula Services, Inc. 

(403) 942-6276 or (403) 359-1102 

Lethbridge, AB

Frequently Asked Questions About Doulas - Part 1

As doulas, we are often asked certain questions over and over again.  In our latest YouTube webisode, I've covered the following:

What is a doula?
Are you the same as a midwife?
Can I have a doula if I would like pain relief, a cesarean, etc.?
Why should I consider a doula?


I'd like to answer more of your questions and hear your input!  Please comment below or email me at wombtocradle at gmail dot com!

New Adventures!

Dear Readers,

I hope this finds you all well. It has been quite some time since I have blogged.  We've made our transition to living in Lethbridge, Alberta and are beginning to feel quite at home.  The kids are enjoying their new school, my husband is busy with his new job and I am venturing back into the birthing world in my new community.

Other exciting things are happening for us as well.  I have recently decided, along with a dear friend, to embark upon a two-week mission trip to Africa, more specifically to Rwanda and Kenya.  I've begun a blog to chronicle that journey which you can find at Two Mothers and a Mission of Hope.  I hope you'll join me there as I share this exciting journey with you!

I look forward to further developments with From Womb to Cradle Doula Services, Inc.  From all of us at FWTC, hope you have a Happy New Year and healthy pregnancies and little ones.

Love,
Michelle

WIN a Maternity Photo Session!

Father's Day is coming up on June 17, 2012.  What a better way to show the new daddy/partner in your life how much they mean to you than with a maternity photo session showcasing you and your precious baby-to-be!  The amazing Jenn Galloway of A Day in the Life Photography has generously donated a gift certificate for a free session.  (You can see some of her work on our Facebook page.)

How did you tell your partner or other family members you were expecting?  Did you show them the test?  Did you put a bun in the kitchen oven?  Did make a video message or simply shout it out?!  Let us know in the first entry box, then follow the additional steps below to enter.  You can earn extra entries by following us on Twitter, tweeting about the contest and liking our blog.  If you follow us on Twitter, please be sure to comment below with your username so we can verify you've followed us and we'll follow you back! 

*Please note, this contest is available to residents of Medicine Hat, Alberta and surrounding areas only.  Hurry, contest closes May 11, 2012!

Good luck!

"My Vision" - Working Together in the Birth Community

My Vision
Amy Swagman (The Mandala Journey)

Look at the artwork to the left.  What do you see?  A mother who has just given birth, of course.  What else do you see?


I see harmony.  I see a small group of women caring for a new mother.  Notice where their faces are turned.  They are not looking toward one another; rather, they are completely focused on the woman in their care.

This is the ideal birthing community.

We are doulas, nurses, midwives, doctors, childbirth educators, lactation consultants, planners, etc.  Regardless of our philosophy, education, or particular walk of life, we all serve the same group.  We serve mothers and their families.

The Social System

Think back to your days in high school.  Who did you spend time with socially?  Were you a jock, a prep, a stoner, a bully, or a nerd?  How did you react or interact with individuals from other social groups?  Did you mock them?  Did you spread rumors?  Did you try to sway others to your way of thinking by putting others down?  Were you a member of an elite clique or did you spend time with "outcasts?" If we are honest, I think many of us can answer "Yes."  While we know that such behavior was not right, it was also characteristic for that age group.  Do we carry this behavior on into adulthood and our professional lives, however? 

As we grow and mature into adulthood, we believe that we outgrow most of the behaviors of our teenage years; yet, more often than not some of our old ways still hang on.  With the surge in social networking over the past decade or so, we now have new outlets to interact with those who believe as we do.  There are millions of groups or clubs or pages for us to join and "like."  Professionally, we've never had access to more resources than we do now and it is very exciting!  It also opens us up to more ways to be critical of one another.

Business

Back in our "real lives," we are developing doula or midwifery practices and childbirth education businesses. We have the opportunity to network with one another through professional associations and our training and certifying bodies.  Do we?  How do we behave when we are introduced to someone who, while our colleague and one who shares our beliefs, is also our business competition.  It is true, birth is a business.  No matter how much we talk about its spiritual nature and the sacredness of the experience, we are, as birth professionals, providing a marketable service.  It is a touchy subject.  Many of us volunteer our services as much as possible.  Truth be told though, we still do have families to support. We require food to give us the energy to work and gas for our vehicles to get us from birth to birth.  So, we have to acquire paying clients.  To acquire clients, we have to market our businesses.  Our relationships with our colleagues in the birth field can and do become strained. 

Getting Caught Up in Competition

I'll let you in on a little secret.  I am so incredibly guilty of this.  I am young (I'd like to think, anyhow) and everyday as a birth professional is a learning process.  Heck, everyday as a human being is a learning process!  Early on, I burnt some bridges.  It does "take two to tango" and there were and are other issues present from all parties involved, but it is there, it is a problem and it is not going away on its own.  To give you a little background, I am almost to fault a rule follower.  I like order.  I like boundaries.  I like direction. I do not, however, like to be told what to do by one person.  I do not like to be treated as a child and, therefore, I have a bit of a problem with authority.  This was one of the reasons I decided to venture out on my own when I received my doula training and begin my own practice.  

It. Was. Rough.

First of all, I had never run a business before.  Not even a little bit.  In my past life I was an administrative assistant for a variety of professional firms, most recently accounting firms.  I definitely had a grasp on professional communication and organization, but economics not so much.  Add to that a dash or two (or three) of self-doubt and lack of confidence and you have a really fun combination.  I was terrified that I would not succeed in business.  I was unable to trust many of my colleagues locally because I thought they did not want me to succeed either.  Some of my fears came from real experiences, but probably the majority of them just came out of my own noggin.

What happened?  I lost sight of my goals.  I forgot why I had become a doula in the first place.  While, yes, I had to try to earn a living from my calling, I had forgotten that it wasn't my colleagues or competition that mattered, it was and is the families in my community.  Whether they chose me to be their doula or not, isn't the important thing that they would know they have a choice to begin with?  

Philosophy and "Real Life"

Here is the bottom line.  We all have different beliefs and values.  Period.  No one person in this world thinks or feels exactly the same as someone else no matter how closely they may be aligned.  That is just the nature of humanity.  We also don't know where any particular individual is in their life.  Sally CBE may feel that epidurals are horrible one day, but the next day she sees that one has been beneficial in a long labor for her client and suddenly sees it isn't as black and white as she once thought.  Jane Doe-oula may have received her training, but then her studies were interrupted because of circumstances in her family life.  Mary Midwife might have small children and not be able to attend a university, so she studies from home to gain knowledge.  

Because we are all different, we can't all fit into a box.  We don't all have cookie cutter lives.  Again, taking my personal choices into account.  I originally trained as a doula with a very well-known organization. It has paved the way for doulas in our part of the world and I respect and admire all of the work done by the group.  I chose, however, to certify with a different body.  First, due to family commitments, and having small children, I was unable to complete all of my requirements within the allotted time frame. Second, I felt I needed a broader education (that encompassed aspects of business, communication and physiology) than what I had received in my earlier studies.  I continued working as a doula to help supplement the costs of my education and, honestly, because I love the work.  On the outside, perhaps this was perceived differently from my colleagues.  They may not have known or understood what was going on in my life, but I know why I made these decisions and they worked for my family.  

Whether you teach Lamaze, Brio, Hypnobabies, or independent classes or are certified through DONA, CAPPA, Childbirth International, or Birth Arts, something that appeals to your personal belief system has drawn you to the organization's philosophy and that makes it the right one for you.  Whether you are certified or still in training, you are still a professional.  Learning takes time and, if you are committed to providing the best care for your clients, it truly never ends. You are definitely worthy of sharing your knowledge with others. Your opinions are valid because they are yours.

Bullying

Does anyone ever want to be called a bully?  We are all guilty of it at some point in our lives.  Whether we're the two-year-old who bites our sister because we don't want to share a toy or we pick apart one of the moms on the playground, we've done it, we do it and we have to stop.  It can be as simple as denouncing someone's credentials or ganging up on them on a Facebook group because they chose to circumcise their son.  It's hurtful and it doesn't do anything to help us accomplish our goals.  

I'm not going to white wash anything here.  We, as birth professionals, are a nasty bunch sometimes.  We have turf wars, we make up our own "truths" about our colleagues and share them widely, we attack those who do not believe as we do, and we engage in fruitless arguments with professionals on the perceived "opposing" side.  We call each other names such as rogue or radical, etc.  We undermine each other.

I have confided in others on occasion without knowing all of the facts.  That can definitely be construed as gossip.  Yup, I am a gossip.  I have hurt others.  I have also felt bullied.  I have been hurt.  I have thought on more than one occasion about throwing in the towel.  I almost have.  Then, I remember, again, why I was called to be a doula.  I was called to serve. 

Serving

A servant is humble.  She puts the needs of others ahead of her own.  She does not have her own agenda.  She brings nothing into a relationship with her but her heart and her hands.  She has the drive to give, not to achieve.  That is the foundation for our work.

Now What?

We don't have to keep fighting with one another.  We have the same goal.  We all want mothers and babies to have a healthy start physically, emotionally and spiritually.  That's it.  That's our focus.  It is really that simple.  Building upon this, where do we go from here?

1. Let's keep our focus on the families we work with.  
• Remind yourself everyday why you were called to be a birth professional.  Take 15 minutes and review the birth stories of your past clients or look through thank you cards.  Whatever it takes to rekindle your passion and realign your priorities.
2. If there is a new professional in your community, reach out to her.
• If she is still training, support her.  If she needs help making connections, provide her with resources.  Do not be afraid of her. There are plenty of babies being born every year and, unless 1984 becomes reality, there will continue to be.
3. Talk to each other, not about each other.

• If you hear something about a colleague, go to the source.  Clear it up. Don't spread gossip. Communication is key.
4. Think before you speak.
• See the graphic to the right.
5. Finally, be humble.  Say you're sorry.  Make amends.  
• If a colleague has hurt you, forgive them.  Learn from the experience, but don't hold a grudge.  It doesn't serve you or your clients.
• If you have hurt a colleague, ask for forgiveness.  You don't have to be best friends, but you can support one another.

My Vision

When you have finished reading this post, scroll back up to the beginning and look at the artwork again.  What do you see?  I see our future if we remember our goals and we work together.  The families of the world need us and we need each other. 

 Author's Note:  I've thought long and hard about writing this post.  I know that there may be some of my colleagues reading this.  Actually, I hope there are, because, I want them to know that I am sorry if I have ever caused them any pain.  It isn't all sunshine and roses, but I realize that together we can accomplish more than we can apart.  Let's try again.

Midwifery Changes the World

This evening, December 11, 2011, Robin Lim of the Bumi Sehat Foundation was announced as CNN's 2011 Hero of the Year.  Midwifery truly changes the world.  Learn more about Ibu Robin and her work below.

Learning About Premature Birth

November is Prematurity Awareness Month and November 17, 2011 is World Prematurity Day.  As doulas, we work with families to support normal birth, but we are well aware of the special circumstances that may occur in a small number of pregnancies.  Join us this month as we share resources on premature birth and infants.



Do you know the risks of premature birth?  Do you know the signs of premature labor? Download our information sheet HERE.

Sometimes... We Make Mistakes - Private Ultrasounds

Three years ago, when I began this doula practice with several other excited and newly trained birth doulas, I have to admit, I was very naive.  Companies contacted me offering samples, coupons, etc. for us to share with our clients.  Some of them had very significant discounts.  Realizing that having a baby is not an inexpensive undertaking, I accepted some of these offers and passed them on.  They say hindsight is 20/20, and while we have since become more aware of companies true intentions and perhaps some less than ideal family values, we still slip up on occasion.

One of the companies that we had shared with our clients was a private ultrasound service.  While we do not advocate the use of ultrasounds, other than for medical reasons (see Obstetric Ultrasound Biological Effects and Safety by SOGC, Are rural general practitioner - obstetricians performing too many prenatal ultrasound examinations? Evidence from western Labrador, Ultrasound scans may disrupt fetal brain development, and Ultrasound: More Harm than Good? by Marsden Wagner, MD Midwifery Today Issue 60, Summer 1999), we realized that some parents wished to have a second ultrasound to for a special memory, gender prediction, etc.  Therefore, we provided the discount coupons to those who mentioned they were planning to have these ultrasounds.

Recently, we have been doing much more research into baby-friendly practices such as the WHO/UNICEF Code of Marketing of Breast Milk Substitutes (World Health Organization).  Specifically, we believe we must adhere to the following:

Article 4. Information and education

4.2 Informational and educational materials, whether written, audio, or visual, dealing with the feeding of infants and intended to reach pregnant women and mothers of infants and young children, should include clear information on all the following points: (a) the benefits and superiority of breast-feeding; (b) maternal nutrition, and the preparation for and maintenance of breast-feeding; (c) the negative effect on breast-feeding of introducing partial bottle-feeding; (d) the difficulty of reversing the decision not to breast-feed; and (e) where needed, the proper use of infant formula, whether manufactured industrially or home-prepared. When such materials contain information about the use of infant formula, they should include the social and financial implications of its use; the health hazards of inappropriate foods or feeding methods; and, in particular, the health hazards of unnecessary or improper use of infant formula and other breast-milk substitutes. Such materials should not use any pictures or text which may idealize the use of breast-milk substitutes

 Article 5.  The general public and mothers

5.1 There should be no advertising or other form of promotion to the general public of products within the scope of this Code.

5.2 Manufacturers and distributors should not provide, directly or indirectly, to pregnant women, mothers or members of their families, samples of products within the scope of this Code....

5.4 Manufacturers and distributors should not distribute to pregnant women or mothers or infants and young children any gifts of articles or utensils which may promote the use of breast-milk substitutes or bottle-feeding

WHO/UNICEF Code of Marketing of Breast Milk Substitutes, Articles 4 & 5

  

Now, to the reason for this post.  It has come to our attention that the private ultrasound company whose coupons we had mistakenly shared has a "rewards" program which includes a gift package of discounts, samples, and information which does not abide by the WHO Code.  Therefore, we will no longer provide coupons for this service.

Please know, that as doulas, our first priority is caring for the families we work with.  We support your choices and will assist you in finding evidence based information to help you make informed decisions about caring for your new baby.  We also must abide by the standards set forth by the World Health Organization and our training/certifying organizations.  We're happy to serve you in a mother-friendly and baby-friendly practice!

Relax...and just wait

Normal pregnancy lasts from 37 - 42 weeks, and beyond!  Late preterm birth is premature birth that occurs between 34 - 36 or 37 weeks.  It can be prevented.  The last few weeks of pregnancy can be very uncomfortable for mothers, but waiting for labour to begin naturally and spontaneously offers your baby his best chance of a healthy life.  Please, be patient, relax, and just wait.



Prematurity Awareness Day is November 17th. To learn more about premature birth and late preterm birth, and what you can do to help, please visit the March of Dimes.

Ripped Out: How Birth Trauma Affects Babies

Ripped out

Held tightly in my warm embryonic bubble,

I reminisce on the days when I floated freely

In this my mother’s womb, nourished by her life force,

This is the first home I have known.

As I stretch and long for freedom

Beyond the comforts of the womb,

I feel the walls compress around me

And I know the time is coming soon.

For many months I have grown stronger.

First helpless in this rhythmic sea,

Secured by this line to my belly;

Providing life, food and safety for me.

Now the ocean has closed around me,

And I’m hugged tightly, wrapped with warmth all around.

I reach up and imagine life beyond,

My mother’s voice is a precious sound.

She coos to me that soon we will meet,

And I will gaze into her love filled eyes.

I dream of her as another squeeze comes,

And I feel her heart rate rise.

As we continue, these surges together,

My mother comforts and we both know;

Our instincts will tell us what to do

This path we must travel before we say hello.

As mother prepares for my welcome,

Her strength falters as time marches on.

I hear voices and strange commotion;

A loud beeping that goes on and on.

The journey now becomes fraught with danger,

As I feel mother cry and give into fear.

With each surge I struggle to climb upward;

I don’t feel my mother so near.

As I fight on my way to the outside,

I struggle with fear and with pain.

My mother’s flesh numbs all around me;

I long to scream out her name.

My birth has killed my sweet mother, I fear.

These waves that pushed me closer to our meeting,

Now crash over and threaten to drown me;

My heart is scarcely beating.

Pain fills every joint in my body,

Loud noises crash all around and above.

I wonder shall I go on fighting,

If I have lost the sweet mother I love?

As the womb that was once my warm safe home,

Pummels and pushes me onward to life;

I long for the quiet and stillness before

This womb was in turmoil and strife.

All at once my previously safe cocoon,

Is breached by a sharp sundering assassin’s knife.

I scream as I’m dragged into glaring lights.

Has my mother forfeit, for me, her life?

My cord that gives life is severed,

And the cold rushes in. Oh it burns!

These new lungs expand as I fight for air.

The room all around me it turns.

I learn of fear and pain this day of my birth.

I am welcomed, bombarded, my eyes and my ears.

My mouth and nose are attacked by tubes that suck,

Eyes are blinded with goo that stops my tears.

“I am falling!” I scream. As I’m moved through this cool air;

Measured, poked and prodded, I cry.

But each cry falls on ears that are deaf

Maniacal smiles on their faces speak of joy and of pride.

My captors lay me down at last,

And with cloth bind me tight;

My legs and arms are unable to move,

They pass me around until I lose my fight.

In the arms of a large stranger I hear,

The deep sound that I have heard often before;

When safe in my bubble surrounded by warmth,

This man who I know loves my mother.

I stare around searching for her,

But alas she is nowhere in sight.

This man, who I’ll call Dad, laughs aloud;

And rocks me and smiles with delight.

When all is quiet and all is calm,

I learn that my mother’s not dead.

As I’m placed in her arms, she kisses me soft;

Her voice is as weak as a thread.

My mother cries as she holds me close,

I try to help; this body I cannot control.

Her body is broken, her spirit crushed,

By this place where birth is a toil.

I was born this way, torn from my mother;

The nature of life it has changed.

Where once I sought freedom and adventure,

Now only fear and anxiety remain.

I wrote this poem because through my study and research in my journey on the road to becoming a doula and in the future, a midwife, I have read and heard a lot about how the birth affects the newborn and wanted to write something from that perspective. Where the speaker, this earthbound newborn, talks of feeling pain and fear this is where I imagine that the mother has given in to the pain of labor and accepted medications which block her natural endorphins which would normally flow to the fetus, so that this new life feels all the pain and trauma associated with being squeezed through a birth canal. When the fetus feels the mothers flesh numb around him and fears that his mother has died, this is where I imagine that the mother has received an epidural and the drug numbs the connection between the mother to her fetus so that this little one experiences the withdrawal of his mother’s presence. As the fetus in my poem struggles to be born, the pounding of contractions along with the withdrawal of his mother’s presence soon overwhelms him and his heart rate begins to slow and an emergency c-section is performed. I tried to portray the feelings this infant might have being ripped from his mother, forced to breathe right away by the severing of the umbilical cord, and forced to endure the hospital protocol while being completely separated from his mother. I cannot remember my own birth so I can only speculate and look at the example of my own children. I could feel such a difference between the personality of my child who was born by cesarean before labor began and my natural homebirth baby. My oldest was afraid of everything and still panics at being away from me. My youngest has no fears and everything is an adventure that he can’t wait to experience. I hope this poem is read as it was intended and helps people to also think of the experience of the baby as choices are made regarding birth. Below are some of the resources that I read that helped to change my perspective in seeing birth through the newest person’s eyes.

References

Chamberlain, D. (1998). The mind of the newborn baby. North Atlantic Books; 3^rd Ed. ISBN- 10: 155643264X

Harper, B. (1994). Gentle birth choices. Healing Arts Press, ISBN-10: 0892814802

Leboyer, F. (1975). Birth without violence. Healing Arts Press, ISBN 0-89281-983-9

Odent, M. (2006). Prelabor intrauterine Life; The future of suicides. Retrieved Sept 10, 2011 from: http://www.wombecology.com/suicide.html

Verny, T. and Kelly J. (1982). The secret life of the unborn child: how you can prepare your baby for a happy, healthy life. Dell, ISBN-10: 0440505658