This is the first home I have known.
As I stretch and long for freedom
Beyond the comforts of the womb,
I feel the walls compress around me
And I know the time is coming soon.
For many months I have grown stronger.
First helpless in this rhythmic sea,
Secured by this line to my belly;
Providing life, food and safety for me.
Now the ocean has closed around me,
And I’m hugged tightly, wrapped with warmth all around.
I reach up and imagine life beyond,
My mother’s voice is a precious sound.
She coos to me that soon we will meet,
And I will gaze into her love filled eyes.
I dream of her as another squeeze comes,
And I feel her heart rate rise.
As we continue, these surges together,
My mother comforts and we both know;
Our instincts will tell us what to do
This path we must travel before we say hello.
As mother prepares for my welcome,
Her strength falters as time marches on.
I hear voices and strange commotion;
A loud beeping that goes on and on.
The journey now becomes fraught with danger,
As I feel mother cry and give into fear.
With each surge I struggle to climb upward;
I don’t feel my mother so near.
As I fight on my way to the outside,
I struggle with fear and with pain.
My mother’s flesh numbs all around me;
I long to scream out her name.
My birth has killed my sweet mother, I fear.
These waves that pushed me closer to our meeting,
Now crash over and threaten to drown me;
My heart is scarcely beating.
Pain fills every joint in my body,
Loud noises crash all around and above.
I wonder shall I go on fighting,
If I have lost the sweet mother I love?
As the womb that was once my warm safe home,
Pummels and pushes me onward to life;
I long for the quiet and stillness before
This womb was in turmoil and strife.
All at once my previously safe cocoon,
Is breached by a sharp sundering assassin’s knife.
I scream as I’m dragged into glaring lights.
Has my mother forfeit, for me, her life?
My cord that gives life is severed,
And the cold rushes in. Oh it burns!
These new lungs expand as I fight for air.
The room all around me it turns.
I learn of fear and pain this day of my birth.
I am welcomed, bombarded, my eyes and my ears.
My mouth and nose are attacked by tubes that suck,
Eyes are blinded with goo that stops my tears.
“I am falling!” I scream. As I’m moved through this cool air;
Measured, poked and prodded, I cry.
But each cry falls on ears that are deaf
Maniacal smiles on their faces speak of joy and of pride.
My captors lay me down at last,
And with cloth bind me tight;
My legs and arms are unable to move,
They pass me around until I lose my fight.
In the arms of a large stranger I hear,
The deep sound that I have heard often before;
When safe in my bubble surrounded by warmth,
This man who I know loves my mother.
I stare around searching for her,
But alas she is nowhere in sight.
This man, who I’ll call Dad, laughs aloud;
And rocks me and smiles with delight.
When all is quiet and all is calm,
I learn that my mother’s not dead.
As I’m placed in her arms, she kisses me soft;
Her voice is as weak as a thread.
My mother cries as she holds me close,
I try to help; this body I cannot control.
Her body is broken, her spirit crushed,
By this place where birth is a toil.
I was born this way, torn from my mother;
The nature of life it has changed.
Where once I sought freedom and adventure,
Now only fear and anxiety remain.
