"Ask me for strength and I will lend not only my hand, but also my heart."
~ Unknown

Monday, February 7, 2011


I thought since I am new to this blog I would take the time to introduce myself as well as tell you all a little about myself. My name is Kaitlin and I am 21 years old. I am the mother to a beautiful baby boy Zephran who was born 5 weeks premature and was also born with a cleft in his soft palate, I am also a fiance to Dean! I am a student as well currently taking nursing but planning on switching to become a Doula and then Midwife. When Michelle asked me to guest post I admit I was nervous at first as I do have my my own blog but have received quite a bit of flack from now ex friends for my opinions on certain things. However, I feel that what I have to share is important, that my learning experiences as a parent can maybe educate and help others out there.

Zephran was born at 35 weeks 3 days at 6lbs 1.7oz, a good weight for being 5 weeks early! He was breathing on his own and was a fighter. He spent 10 days in the NICU which was a very hard time for my fiance and I. He had jaundice quite bad and was in an incubator two separate times in these 10 days. His birth is still something I deal with on a daily basis, it bothers me that I didn't have him with me after he was born, that he was taken away immediately. I have a lot of people tell me well at least you have a healthy baby. That is definitely not something I like to hear, I am very happy I have a healthy baby but that doesn't make my experience any more happy than before. I am very proud though that I did it drug free(except for pitocin) and did not end up with a C-section. For our next baby however I plan to have a home birth with a midwife.

Because Zephran was born with a cleft in his soft palate he cannot directly breastfeed, this means that I had 1 of 3 options: to pump breastmilk, to give him formula, or to give him another woman's breastmilk(Yes you can do this!!). I chose option one. I am an exclusively pumping mom, I chose this as I knew it was best for my child, it is exhausting but so worth the benefits! Some may say its like having twins, I feed Zephran, and then I pump for an equal amount of time and then the cycle repeats itself throughout the day. His cleft will be repaired around 10-12 months of age and I still have a sliver of hope that maybe he will breastfeed after this, though not likely I will never give up that hope as it is something I desperately wanted when I found out I was pregnant with him. I still struggle with him not being able to breastfeed on a daily basis. That aspect is definitely part of PPD. I am one of many women who struggle with PPD. I have had to start taking antidepressants and have also received a ton of flack over this as well. Unfortunately yes I have to take them, the alternative is much much worse than not taking them and they do not cause any harm to Zephran.

I am a very strong believer in the most natural aspect of pregnancy, labour and parenting. A lot of people don't agree with me but I know I am doing what is best for my child and that is all that matters to me! I am looking forward to sharing my experiences and writing on this blog as well as my own. Until next time!

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