"Ask me for strength and I will lend not only my hand, but also my heart."
~ Unknown

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Inspired: An interview with Birth Source, Inc's Tracey Stolarchuk

In 2008, Michelle took a trip to Edmonton, where she had lived for three years and had given birth to both of her children.  She had been a longtime reader of Birth Issues magazine, a publication of the Association for Safe Alternatives in Childbirth (ASAC), and was excited to visit one of the advertised stores, Birth Source, Inc.  It was on that occasion that she had the great fortune to meet Tracey Stolarchuk who has been a friend, a mentor, and a great inspiration to the From Womb to Cradle family.  We are happy to share the following conversation with you, our readers, between Michelle and our friend, Tracey, who recently retired from professional doula work.

FWTC: Tell us about yourself (work, family, interests)

Tracey: I have had four children. My first son Paul was born 23 years ago, followed by Michael who is 17, Sean who is 11 and a daughter Megan who is 9. The best part of what I do as a Mom is sharing my love of Birth Source with my children. All of them are very proud of the work I do and value families and babies as much as I do. I homeschool my youngest two so they are at work with me each day as well.

FWTC: When and why did you decide to become a doula?

Tracey: I had attened several births long before learning about doulas and found that experience both very profound and rewarding. I met a woman many years later who was a postpartum doula and I was facinated with the philosophy and the opportunity to serve women and share my own experiences as a mother. She told me about the birth doula workshop that I attended and after finishing that with an amazing instructor I was hooked.

FWTC: How long did you practice? Did you work primarily in hospital or at home births? 

Tracey: My doula practice in all has spanned almost 15 years and I recently retired from professional work. Most of my clients were having their babies in the hospital but I was also very fortunate to be invited to homebirths as well.

FWTC: What motivated you to open Birth Source, Inc.?

Tracey: My professional work as a Birth Doula and Childbirth Educator meant sourcing out products for both myself and my clients. This began my quest for high quality items that would enhance the lives of birthing women and parents. I received more and more requests from customers along the way which lead to a larger retail undertaking ultimately launching the Birth Source online store. After a brief period of working from home I missed the face to face interaction with my customers and felt I could provide better service in person. My need to combine the retail and service portion of my business meant a space that accommodated both so the store front for Birth Source was born in September 2007.

FWTC: What are your favorite products?

Tracey: Hands down the most helpful product has been a baby carrier. As with many products, they have changed a lot over the years, but it ranks very high on my list of must-have products.

FWTC: What are your hopes and dreams for the future of Birth Source, Inc. and your work with families?

Tracey: Birth Source was never meant to be a single-faceted business. In fact, it was always meant to be a community resource, combining education, retail, support and community building to make the vision work. The most inspiring thing on my journey to create Birth Source has been the many, many people I have met and networked with that tell me, “Yes, this is what is missing in our community.” We need places like Birth Source to bring women back together on a mother-to-mother basis, sharing wisdom and joys and sorrows on a basic level with one another.

FWTC: Thank you so much, Tracey!  We're excited to share your business with many more families.

If you are in the Edmonton, AB area, you can visit Birth Source, Inc.'s retail location (click here for a virtual tour) at 5024 - 106 Avenue and/or call them for information on their upcoming workshops and community activities at (780) 758-2525.  Shop online at http://www.birthsource.ca

Tracey is also generously donating a Family Tree Glass "Birth Partner" Pendant to our 900th Facebook Fan Giveaway!  Thank you, Tracey!  Click here to enter the giveaway!

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Keegan's Story - In honour of World Prematurity Day

Today's post is from guest blogger Andrea Hoffman.  Thank you, Andrea, for sharing your family's story. 
I have been asked to share my story with you and have been trying to figure out where to start.  I’ve shared my story on many preemie sites but it was pointed out to me that I edit out my inner thoughts and feelings.  I guess that’s how I protect myself from going back to the fear and pain that accounted for the first 97 days of my son’s life.  You see, that’s the most important thought in my head....my son is alive.  I celebrate that reality every day!  Keagan is 17 months old, wearing size 3-6 month cloths, has nearly no body fat and is walking and talking.  When people see him they are startled and ask how old he is.  When I tell them he is 17 months they usually look shocked and stare at him...then I feel like I have to explain...I tell them he should only be 14 months.  This extra information usually stops further conversation, or leads to the usual “What do you mean?”.   I like the times the conversation ends, it means I don’t have to get into my story with strangers.  Today is about celebrating the lives, however long or short they are, of preemies...so here’s our story.
I am not young...I was 34 when we decided to get pregnant.  We were so excited and wanted to do everything right.  We went to the Dr and asked what we needed to do to have a healthy baby...”no alcohol, start vitamins, eat healthy”...I followed everything I was told.   That was in September 2009, by the beginning of December I knew I wasn’t alone in my body anymore...I told K he was going to be a Daddy.  I was so sure that I told him before I even had confirmation from the Dr.  I was so happy I was jumping out of my skin!  We told everybody we could.  By Christmas I couldn’t fit into my jeans anymore and I was more excited!  We started buying baby clothes and everywhere we shopped on our Christmas holidays ended up being about our baby. 
I loved every moment of being pregnant...every little change in my body...every movement I felt...this was what I’d been dreaming of my entire life...I was going to be a Mommy!
I read every night about what size my baby was, what was developing, what I should do and not do, and I did it.  I went to my appointments and had tests...all on time.  We went to our 19 week ultrasound and watched our baby do summersaults, we found out it was a boy!  Everything looked wonderful (we were told).  We were getting more excited and filled with joy.  We ordered his crib and decided on a nursery theme.  When we went for my 5 month clinic check up, my blood pressure was a bit high.  This wasn’t anything that concerned me as I’ve had elevated blood pressure for years.  Work was stressful and I knew that was a factor.  We were told that I would need to see my Dr in 2 weeks to have my BP checked again.  We hired a Doula that week, I have a crazy fear of hospitals so working with a Doula seemed the best idea.  We started prenatal class a week later, one of the other moms was swelled up like a balloon; she pointed out her feet and said “I have preeclampsia if you swell up like this go see your Dr”.  The very next day I noticed my ankles swelled a bit, but wasn’t too worried, this happens in pregnancy, right?  I’d been sitting at my desk for 6 hours, so I got up and moved aroung.  Then the next day, my co-worker noticed my hand swollen.  Ok...now I got worried.  K was working though, and I didn’t want to worry him so thought I’d wait till after work to go to the hospital, I truly thought they would tell me I was overreacting and to go home.  
When I got to the nurses’ station, total and utter panic set in.  I could hardly force the words out of my mouth to tell them about the swelling.  They took me to a room, took my BP and called the Dr.  I was to remain and be monitored for ½ hour.  I calmed down a bit and they took readings of my baby and kept checking my BP.  It wouldn’t come down...the Dr came and told me he wanted to keep me overnight for observation.  Maybe I would get some time off work?  Maybe that would help.  I didn’t get the impression that there was any huge concern, more that they just wanted me to calm down...so I tried doing that.   I was 25 weeks pregnant and had a long way to go yet.
I had an uneventful weekend, but was kept for testing the next week.  Tests showed my liver wasn’t working 100% but the OB wasn’t concerned about my baby.  Ultrasound, that week, was ok we were told, though in retrospect it was a bit odd, it said my due date was mid September instead of late August.  But Dr’s know best...right?  I stayed in hospital here, for one week.  A new OB came on and did a complete exam (the other one never got close enough to even touch me), by the time he touched my big toe he had decided that I needed to be in another hospital.  I cried, why the concern now?  Nurses here told me I would be put in a quiet dark room and given meds, all would be ok and I could expect to be back here in a few weeks to wait out the rest of my pregnancy.  The next hour was a whirlwind.  Steroids, IV, room transfer, family coming to see me, K told not to go to his truck to get my cloths, not to start driving because they didn’t know where I was being sent yet.  I was terrified, I felt like nobody knew what was going on, least of all me.  As I was being loaded onto the gurney, K was told he could fly with me, and that I’d been accepted to the Foothills in Calgary.  Off we went, my first ambulance ride, my first air ambulance ride, scary yet I felt like someone was wrong...I could feel my baby kicking and moving...I really didn’t believe anything was wrong, how could it be when it didn’t FEEL wrong?
Calgary -  This is the hardest part of my story.  The part I don’t know how I will ever tell my child.  I arrived late Friday night, was monitored and put in a bed around 1am.  K couldn’t come in; he slept in a chair in the hall.  My hero.  9am Saturday we had an ultrasound.  Dr J was a lovely lady, but her face said more than she did.  She showed us that our baby boy had very little fluid and that the flow through the placenta was reduced...by a lot.  I stopped thinking this was a mistake...this was serious.  She explained that we were going to try buying our baby as much time as possible.  When pressed for an idea, she said we were going to try for a few more days but would have to take it one day at a time.  I was taken back to my room where I bawled.  I felt like I was failing my baby, I was failing K, I was failing the first test of motherhood...I was not going to be able to be deliver my baby at 9 months.  We sat on my bed and cried.  My heart was breaking.  Our parents came to visit (both sets having traveled a long way) and we didn’t have the heart to tell them the bad possibilities...so we told them what we could without voicing the negatives we knew were serious possibilities, neither of us willing to say the words.  I lost track of time a bit, there were 3 days of worry, 3 days of bawling at the drop of a hat, 3 days of watching monitors and listening to baby.  I was so scared that I had the talk.  You know, where I told the love of my life that if he had to choose my life or the baby’s that I wanted the baby to live.  I started, and made K do it with me, thanking God for things.  “I’m thankful that we saw him move” “I’m thankful that I met you” “I’m thankful that we got another 4 hours of him inside”.  This was how I got through.  I was taken up for monitoring one night, nurses took my phone (they said K needed sleep so wouldn’t let me call him), and I laid in a tiny bed with BP monitor on my arm and monitor on my belly listening to baby, both going off every 10 minutes...and on the other side of the curtain were mothers in labour.  When they cried in pain, all I could think was “you’re SO lucky”.  I was 26 weeks pregnant with my first child and was getting matched to blood donors “just in case”.  Monday night I was moved to another room, K was given a cot so he could stay...surely this wasn’t a good sign.  I was hooked up to monitors and couldn’t move...not even my foot, otherwise baby would shift and we would have to set up again.  He liked to dodge the monitors.  He sounded like a choo choo train....steady in the distance and I was reassured by hearing him.  Nurses were outside my room watching my readings the entire time.  When baby started dodging the monitors, the tests started up again.  Dr B would bring the ultrasound machine in and check for baby’s vitals.  We did this every ½ hour until 2am.  Then she allowed me to sleep a bit. 
Tuesday May 25, 2010 - 27 weeks 2 days pregnant THE scariest day of my entire life.  Doctors everywhere.  Dr J checked baby again and told us that blood flow had reversed, baby was no longer getting anything through the placenta...she was calling the team for a meeting. Dr M came in, told me he would be delivering baby at 3:30.  Dr W came in for permission to get samples for Preeclampsia studies. On and on the list went.  My mom was called; she had 3 hours before the operation she could be there in time I thought...I prayed.  I wanted my Mommy in a way I hadn’t felt in years.  1:15 something changed, I was rushed out of my room into the surgical suite.  K was told to wait in the hall.  I was being given a spinal, Dr M was fighting with the anaesthetist about putting me under...nurses counting tools...at one point I saw K in the window.  Then I was lying down, arms strapped, curtain up, K was brought in and by 1:48 my baby was out of my body and gone from the room.  I didn’t see him.  I was so terrified that something was wrong.  Then there was the feeling of having stuff shoved back into my body...I didn’t feel pain but I certainly felt my body being shaken and shoved in ways that didn’t seem right.  Then I was wheeled into recovery, where the Neonatologist came, finally, to tell me about my baby.  K had taken a couple pictures to bring me. Keagan was SO tiny, 640grams (less than a stick and a half of butter) and not quite 12” long.  But he breathed on his own.  Dr T said he was a superstar!  I breathed for the first time in days.  I was taken to see Keagan on route to my room...gurney and all.

NICU -  This is where we spent the next 97 days, different hospitals but same story.  I could write a book about these 97 days, but I’ve kept you reading a long time already.  What I will tell you is the NICU is a very scary place.  You can watch your baby, sometimes touch them, and sometimes hold them, but NEVER without permission.  I often say I was blessed to be able to watch my son develop in a way that I never would have if he were in my womb.  Though true, this is NOT something I would wish on my worst enemy.  My son didn’t have all layers of skin like a full term baby, I could not stroke him, and too much stimulation could cause him to Brady.  Brady is when they forget to work and their heart stops...yes, stops.  I will never forget the terror I felt when Keagan bradied while I was kangarooing him...NOTHING prepares you for that.  To see you child hooked up to tubes/ wires/ breathing aids/ feeding tubes...to know that without them he would die, no parent should ever have to live that.  Preemies don’t have body fat...not micro preemies anyway.  They don’t have cheeks, chins, bums or wrinkles...anywhere.  We thought Keagan looked like an old mad and dreamed of the day when he would have some fat and definition.  In the NICU you celebrate things that other parents take for granted.  We have a certificate from the day Keagan reached 1kg. We celebrated the day we saw him without his c-pap hat on, the day he grew eyebrows and eyelashes, the day he turned when he heard our voices...things that full term parents don’t think of and the things that some prem parents never get a chance to see.  We also had hard days, days that we wished we could offer up our own lives so that Keagan could be pain free, that just breathing wouldn’t be so much of a chore for him let alone the constant needle jabs and blood samples.  The excitement when he was transferred to our hospital because he was doing so well, the Dr’s were talking about release!  Just when you let your guard down in the NICU, something happens...we were getting the nursery ready anticipating having our baby to ourselves when Keagan got sick.  So sick he was airlifted back to Calgary.  We were actually relieved to have him transferred back to Calgary....sick with worry and terrified but thankful that his Dr knew enough to send him to the pros. 
This time there were more tests, more needles, more of everything...but our baby wasn’t allowed to feed.  Imagine holding your baby (all 3lbs of him) while he cries for food, but you can’t give it to him.  I felt so helpless; I had to leave sometimes just so he wouldn’t see me cry.  I called the NICU at all hours of the night because I couldn’t sleep, I spent nearly the entire day and evening at his bedside, I couldn’t be away from him without worrying.   My baby was sick, and not just from being premature. Nobody could figure out why or how to treat it...I was a wreck.  Then there was surgery on hernias, our poor little boy.  For some reason after the surgery his tummy issues cleared up rather quickly and we were on the homeward stretch again.  On August 27 2010 we took our 4.5lb baby home from the hospital.  You would think that our world would be perfect.  Suddenly we had a baby without monitors, no medical team to turn to, and a baby that still needed meds and would need follow-up for at least the next 5 years.  
Our son is now 17 months old, 14 corrected.  Corrected is what he would be if he was born on his due date and the date that development is based on.  Keagan is our precious little miracle and I thank God every day for his life and for mine so I can know my sweet baby. Keagan is developing as he should be and amazes people who meet him.  
We are one of the lucky families and we know it and don’t take it for granted not for a moment.  Those of you who have preemies, you know what I’m talking about.  Those that don’t have preemies...maybe this will help you to understand preemie parents better.  Yes we seem overprotective, we are.  We have to protect our babies from small germs because they can cause huge problems, and we weren’t able to protect them from the pain and suffering they endured to get where they are.  Yes, we tend to hold our babies more than termers...we didn’t get to hold them at birth like you did and after all the pokes and pains from the hospital, maybe they need it a bit more.  Try not to complain about being 9 months pregnant when you’re big and sore...there are Mommies out there that never have and never will experience what you are going through and they would give everything they own if only they could.  Don’t look at our little Miracles or us with pity, please look with amazement at what God, amazing medical staff and super strong babies can do.  
Today is World Prematurity Day, please celebrate the lives of preemies everywhere...those with us and those that God took to be with Him.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Learning About Premature Birth

November is Prematurity Awareness Month and November 17, 2011 is World Prematurity Day.  As doulas, we work with families to support normal birth, but we are well aware of the special circumstances that may occur in a small number of pregnancies.  Join us this month as we share resources on premature birth and infants.

Do you know the risks of premature birth?  Do you know the signs of premature labor? Download our information sheet HERE.