Bringing Sexy Back!

Bringing Sexy Back!!!

At some point, you might have wondered how pregnancy will affect your sex life. Will you ever have uninhibited sex again? Will you have as much sex during pregnancy as you did before? If you haven’t thought about it I am sure your husband has!!!

Whether you’re completely uninterested in sex now that you’re pregnant, or you’re feeling sexier than ever (you go girl!!!), most women find that pregnancy changes their sex lives in ways they never expected.

The great part about sex during pregnancy is that this is probably the first time you have been able to make love without worrying about getting pregnant! Whoo-hoo!!!

The majority of couples experience ups and downs in sexual desire during the nine months leading up to a baby’s birth. Here are common issues that many couples have experienced:

Pregnancy Changes and Sexuality

• First Trimester

For many women, the first three months of pregnancy can bring fatigue and nausea. If these symptoms are present, you certainly aren’t gonna feel like gettin’ your groove on. A recent study shows that 54 percent of pregnant women experience diminished desire during the first trimester. Don’t worry. Your interest is likely to pick up again in just a few weeks.

• Second Trimester

This is the “Golden Time” of pregnancy, particularly when it comes to sex. The fatigue and nausea have lifted, and you may be feeling sexy again as you begin to “show.” At this stage pregnancy brings an increased blood supply to the pelvic area. Your breasts increase in size during pregnancy, enlarging even more with sexual arousal. Be aware that dads may feel inhibited as they come to terms with the fact that you are carrying a real, live baby. They may be concerned about hurting the baby (I am sure Dad thinks he might poke an eye out or something) or about him “overhearing” sexual activity. If you do develop serious concerns please talk to your doctor or midwife about any concerns you have, and try to enjoy this period.

• Third Trimester

Toward the end of the final trimester, many couples experience a drop in sexual activity. The sheer girth of a pregnant woman’s belly may make lovemaking difficult — except in a few “creative” positions. Even so, many couples continue to enjoy relations right up until the end. Can sex late in pregnancy cause preterm labor? A recent study by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists shows that intercourse after 29 weeks does not increase a woman’s risk for preterm labor (assuming that the pregnancy is a normal one).

The Big O

Orgasms can be much different during pregnancy. Some woman will finally become orgasmic during pregnancy due to the increased fluids in the area making you much more sensitive. Other women will become multi-orgasmic for the first time.

In general, orgasms are very good for you and baby! When you have an orgasm the baby is unaware of what you are doing, but does experience the euphoric hormone rush that you will experience. There will also be minor rhythmical contractions of the uterus, as there have always been, but now that the uterus is bigger you can feel them much more. This is not preterm labor, unless you have this cramping sensation or contractions for more than one hour.

Maintaining Intimacy and Open Communication

Mutual understanding and open communication will help you and your partner survive these nine months. In the meantime, you may need to get creative. Try different positions or experiment with massaging and touching one another in new ways. Most importantly, start to stress quality over quantity when it comes to sex. This advice will carry over into the exhilarating but busy child-rearing years

What Kind of a Doula am I? ~ Sherel's Philosophy

You may have noticed over the past couple weeks my colleagues have each written a blog post about what their philosophy is of being a doula and supporting birthing families. It is our goal to each contribute on a regular basis to bring our readers information on birth and to help you to get to know us a little better. I guess that I am the procrastinator of our group because I volunteered to go last and I am still down to the deadline trying to get my thoughts down in print.
I think that the most wonderful thing about doulas is that each one is different and has their own philosophy on how they support parents during pregnancy and the birth experience. I think this is wonderful because each family has their own ideas of what kind of birth they will have and what kind of support they will need along the journey. It is so important that expectant parents get the kind of support that works best for them.


I feel that my main role as a doula is education. I have learned from my own births and those that I have attended that good preparation makes a world of difference when a woman is deep in the throes of labor. Even with good preparation there comes a point where having loving and gentle support is the one thing that keeps many women going.

I often wonder when I read the research on birth why so many doctors choose to use so many medical interventions when many studies show the harm of them such as induction and epidurals. Then I hear mothers speak of their own births and how they scheduled an induction because then all of their family could be there and wouldn’t miss work or how mothers would never give birth without an epidural because they are “not that brave”. I have heard this over and over again from mothers who have no enthusiasm about the birth event and are only grateful to have it passed and receive their beautiful healthy babies. I realized that doctors all too often hear this version of birth from the expectant mothers they work with. Expectant mothers who approach birth with fear and trepidation wanting only to be rescued from the pain are the norm in our society. Whereas, those who educate themselves about how they can birth peacefully and beautifully with their bodies doing the work to bring their newborn into the world, are looked at as strange and even crazy.


Birth can be beautiful and peaceful and mothers can show the medical providers that there is another way to give birth without the pain medication and the lithotomy position for pushing. However, it isn’t about educating the doctors and OBs, the research is out there for them to see, it is about educating mothers so that they can choose other options besides medication. Mothers need to be informed that they can birth without fear. If the majority of mothers asked for births without medication and asked to be upright during pushing and for freedom to move during labor, the medical system would change. The evidence would be there for all doctors and L & D nurses to see and mothers would go on to be advocates for natural, un-medicated birth.


This is why I feel that as a doula I need to make the option available for all women to have the resources to be in charge of their own births. I feel that pregnant mothers are given 9 + months to prepare themselves and their minds and bodies for the birth event. My role is to help families to educate themselves in choosing the best birth for them and to choose the right support people. I do not feel that I need to be present for every woman’s birth as birth is very sacred and women need people surrounding them that they are comfortable with. I have seen firsthand the difference that a doula can make who is sensitive to the needs and comfort of all who are present. I know that having a doula at birth in the hospital can keep a woman from fighting her body and help birth to progress more smoothly. However, I feel that birth in the hospital can change if enough women are educated about their bodies before entering the hospital. That is my goal as a doula and someday as a midwife, my desire is to see mothers who ask for change in birth and reject medication for themselves and their babies.

My birth philosophy is that I want to be there for all women of all ages and with all histories and give them the tools that they need to experience a beautiful and fulfilling birth experience so that they will share their stories with those around them so that someday the landscape of birth will change and babies will come into the world free of fear and ready for the adventure that is life.

The Most Uncomfortable Question

Can you...Could you...Will you... Would you help me?

Asking others for help and letting others help us can be very difficult for many women.  Add to that the responsibilities of motherhood, and it can be one giant guilt-fest.  After all, thanks to one Gloria Steinem, many of us really do try to "have it all." Oh, I'm not implying that we shouldn't or cannot enjoy limitless education, a fulfilling career, spirituality and family life.  We certainly can!  There is just one stipulation... we might need to have a little help along the way.

I am really uncomfortable asking for help.  I literally avoid it at all costs, just as my lovely coworkers and close friends.  If there is something to be done, my general attitude has been, "If you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself."  My husband found a lovely way to utilize this, in fact.  When cloth diapering our babies, he says,  he would purposely make mistakes.  He knew I would jump in and take over, thus relieving him of the responsibility.  (He still laughs about this!)  Did he still manage to get a diaper on the baby?  Yes.  Did he interact with and share loving bonding time with baby?  Yes!  Was it always up to my standards?  No.  But the point was he did it!  He shared in the responsibility (at least until I kicked him out of the nursery) and gave me some time to myself, however fleeting.  I just couldn't let go.

Fast forward six years... I am now the president of a company.  I have incredible women working with me that I trust and adore.  Thanks to one in particular, I am learning day by day to delegate and allow others to help me with tasks.  She said to me one day, in so many words,"Letting someone help you is not an imposition to that person, it is granting them the joy of serving you!"  That made such an impact on my heart!

You will find, when you welcome your little one into your life, that there may be a plethora of packages for your little one.  Folks may pop over often in those first few weeks to get a peek at your tiny miracle.  It can seem overwhelming.  Here's a little tip we give our parents, have a time limit on visits and let visitors help you while they are there!  We provide our clients with a handy sign to display during the postpartum period thanking visitors for coming and recommending some tasks they may want to assist the new parents with.  We, as your doulas, also provide postpartum assistance with household chores, meal preparation, cleaning and childcare.  It's okay to ask for help and, more importantly, it is good for your health!  Write a postpartum care plan and delegate tasks to your partner, your doula and whatever family and friends are willing.

I'm still not always comfortable asking for assistance, but I have learned to accept it.  I love my work and I love my family.  Sometimes, it can be very hard to balance.  As I watch my children grow, I see how quickly time passes and I don't want to miss a moment. I won't be at every ballgame or every recital, but when I can rely on a colleague to plan an event or trust a friend to pick up the kids from school, I'll do my best to let them.  

Love,

Michelle

My Doula Philosophy - Michelle's Musings

As I sit before my computer screen today, I'm drawing a bit of a blank.  It is not because I cannot describe the concrete aspects of my doula "philosophy," as it were.  No, it is because what I believe about work as a doula is based on more than studies, books, papers, classes, etc.  For me, work as a doula is work of the heart.  In a recent workshop, Barbara Harper mentioned that the word doula is not entirely accurate.  Our work is not to really do anything, rather it is to be.  My greatest joy in practice is simply being present for a family on the most beautiful, emotional, spiritual day of their lives.  Holding the space for a mother and her partner to welcome a child is a blessing.  We, as doulas or birthing companions, are honoured to bear witness to miracles.

Through the education that we are continuously pursuing, doulas and other birth workers learn how conception, pregnancy, birthing and postpartum experiences shape the life of the mother, the child and the entire family unit.  We learn about the concrete - such as the use of interventions in birthing; how medications during labor can effect baby, mom and the breastfeeding relationship; the importance of skin-to-skin contact immediately following birth and how it initiates the stimulation of vital neurons in the child and hormones in the mother, etc.  The list goes on and on.  But, I feel that to overlook the emotional and spiritual aspects of birthing is to deny its full power.  I believe that conscious conception, a connected pregnancy, and an understanding of the way baby and mother work together during birthing and breastfeeding is as much a part of childbirth preparation as are prenatal care, nutrition and an understanding of the physiology of labor and birth.  Conception, pregnancy and birth are more than women's issues, they are family issues.  It is this wholistic view that inspires us to support informed choices, integration of any spiritual or religious views, and the intrinsic values belonging to each particular family we work with.  Birth belongs to the family!

I also believe that birthing does not have to be painful.  Birth is a natural process that the female body was designed for.  The uterus is a muscle just like those in our arms, legs, etc.  It does not only function during birthing, but also during menstruation and during sexual intimacy.  Certainly, when one experiences pleasure with one's partner, it is not a painful sensation; therefore, why should birthing be any different? One word: fear.  We must work to eliminate the fear of birthing.  I believe that, as Franklin D. Roosevelt once stated, "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."  We do not fear connecting intimately with our partners.  We do not fear a sneeze.  We do not fear blinking, breathing, the beat of our hearts...no other natural function of our bodies is met with fear other than birthing.  Interestingly, in cultures where women live in more rural communities and are not connected as readily to media - there is much less fear and anxiety about birthing.  Why?  Because birthing is seen as a natural part of life and an emergence of a soul, rather than a medical emergency.

Hearkening back to the beginning of my musings, when I work with a birthing family, I always try to lead with my heart.  Occasionally, a doula (myself most definitely included) may get caught up in relaying all of the facts and necessary practical information, but as time passes, she learns more about herself and the kind of doula she aspires to be.  Knowledge, not only of the mind but also of the spirit, increases with experience.  I have seen births go so smoothly, that they are literally seamless.  I have also seen special circumstances occur, where medicine has truly worked miracles.  I have seen mothers embrace the power of their birthings and gain confidence that translates throughout their lives.  I have also cried silently while holding a grieving mother.

I can give scientific data and clinical references to birthing families; but, without lending my heart, I will not have given what is truly needed.

With Love,
Michelle

Wisdom Birth: The life-giving benefits of the placenta

We recently watched this short video featuring internationally renowned midwife, Robin Lim of Bumi Sehat, discussing delayed cord clamping and cutting and the benefits of the placenta.  Within thirteen short minutes, we learned so much that we had to share it with you here and we sincerely hope you will share it with your doctor, nurse, midwife, doula, childbirth educator, family and friends.  The placenta does more than sustain life during pregnancy, it can also save lives after birth!



Again, please share this link with your loved ones.  We cannot say that enough...

"Another thing very injurious to the child, is the tying and cutting of the navel string too soon; which should always be left till the child has not only repeatedly breathed but till all pulsation in the cord ceases.  As otherwise the child is much weaker than it out to be, a portion of the blood being left in the placenta, which out to have been in the child." ~ Erasmus Darwin, Zoonomia: The Laws of Organic Life, 1801

A Hypnobirthing Story (Guest Blogger - Niki Gray)

We're please to welcome our second guest blogger, Niki Gray.  Niki and her husband just recently moved here with there almost 1 year old little girl! She runs a day home, is a Stella and Dot Stylist, and loves creating diaper cakes on the side. Before becoming a Mom, she worked professionally with children on the Autism Spectrum in Calgary and then for the Heartland Health Region in Saskatchewan!

Hey Fellow Mamas, Mamas-to-be and From Womb to Cradle Followers!

I was asked to share my labour experience with some fellow Moms, so here it goes…

Finding Hypnobirthing...
I never considered or even really heard of natural birthing until I was delighted with news of becoming preggers!  About 4 months into our pregnancy I was doing some researching on natural birth. My main reason at the time was because I had experienced anxiety during high stress times in the past and I was afraid drugs would enhance any anxiety I would feel in the delivery room. The more I looked into it, the more I learned the facts on the affects both drugs and stress have on both our babies and our bodies during labour and delivery. I also became intrigued when I stumbled across a book titled HypnoBirthing: The Mongan Method by Marie Mongan, and I instantly made my order! At the time I lived in a small Saskatchewan town where a Hypnobirthing coach or classes were unheard of, so I read and studied the book learning to relax and meditate on my own with the DVD/CD that was included with the book. At the time my hubby was not really onboard (something about "hypno-mumbo jumbo"), so I didn’t practice with any sort of "coach." As the weeks neared forty, I was letting go of fears and was more excited than ever to meet our daughter!

The Delivery Room…

I let the baby lead the way as I encouraged her with slow and birth breathing, relaxation and visualization of her safe and easy arrival! I laid with my eyes closed while I quietly breathed through each contraction and once the nurses decided to let me push (they were waiting for the doctor on-call) my daughter was out in 40 minutes! I truly believe the reading that I did and learning to let go of all the fears and anxieties that I had associated with the birth of our daughter, we were all able to experience a beautiful and natural delivery, with zero stitches to follow! So it really is possible to have a fast, pain and drug free delivery. It really is all "mind over matter!"

For more information on Hypnobirthing please check out www.hypnobirthing.com

If interested in getting a Diaper Cake created personally for an expectant Mama please contact me at nikimgray@gmail.com or check out my website with Stella and Dot to see some great jewellery! 

~ Niki Gray

My Doula Philosophy - Kaitlin

I believe in every woman's ability to birth in the way she wants! Every woman should be allowed to birth however and wherever she pleases and no one should tell her differently.  I strongly believe that as a doula, I am there to support my client without judgment or telling her what to do or what is right from wrong.  I will gladly share any information, techniques and advice but at the end of the day it is not my birth but hers.  I believe every women knows her body best and what she is able to handle and what she is not able to handle.  I am there to provide her as much support and techniques to relieve pain but it is ultimately her choice in how she wants to birth whether that be in a pool, in bed, at home, with or without pain medication and otherwise.  The other thing I think is important to keep in mind is that there is a tremendous mind-body connection.  While labor is definitely very physical, where you are in your mind can have a huge effect on how your labor progresses.  A large part of a doula's job is to help a woman feel safe and comfortable.  It does not mean that there will not be any pain.  But if the energy in the room is good, the woman feels that her wishes are being respected and that she is coping well with the contractions, it makes her feel more relaxed and helps her progress in her labor.  I feel that every women should be allowed to have the birth she wants!