Ethical Holiday Gift Giving

During the Holiday Season, we often get mixed up in the hustle and bustle and crowds at the mall.  Our children's Christmas lists are longer than a roll of paper towels and we, too, may have our eyes on the latest techno gadgets.  However, throughout the year, families are in need all over the world.  As a birth doula, children and expectant mothers are, of course, especially on my mind this time of year.  So, I thought I would share a few gift giving ideas with you that are selfless and bring a world of help to families in need.  If you'd like to help women and children affected by HIV/AIDS and poverty and give the gift of life this Holiday Season, please visit the following links:

World Vision Online - HIV/AIDS related gifts

World Vision - Maternal Health in Afganistan

World Vision - New Mother & Baby Kit

PlanCanada Home Birthing Kit

In Honour of World AIDS Day

In honour of World AIDS Day, here is a link to an exceptional blog post by another author: 

Blacktating: New Recomendations for Breastfeeding & HIV

Honouring Birth

"Attending births is like growing roses. You have to marvel at the ones that just open up and bloom at the first kiss of the sun but you wouldn't dream of pulling open the petals of the tightly closed buds and forcing them to blossom on your time line." — Gloria Lemay

A doula friend of mine shared this wonderful quote with me today.  I can't think of a better attitude to have as a birth professional.  Birth is meant to be honoured as an emotional, spiritual event that has it's own timeline.  To force it is to go against the very core of nature.

The Difference Between Doulas and Midwives

Probably the most common question I am asked, as a birth doula, is whether I deliver or, catch, babies. While the answer may seem simple enough, no we do not catch babies, it is easy to see how one can be confused. After all, doulas are wholistic, as are midwives. Midwives promote breastfeeding and natural childbirth, as do doulas. The difference is, midwives are clinically trained to provide medical care to healthy expectant mothers and their babies. Doulas are non-clinical professionals who provide emotional, physical and informational support to expectant mothers and their families. The following video starring a midwife, explains perfectly the difference in our two roles.

Breastfeeding & Healthy Portrayal in the Media

In honour of Sesame Street's 40th Anniversary, enjoy the following clips of breastfeeding portrayed in a healthy positive light!

A Doula's Focus - Is your doula putting you first?

You are the reason a doula does her job.  Her responsibility is to "mother the mother."  Is your doula putting you first?  Here are some things to look and listen for:

1. Your doula leads in gently, asking you how you found out about her practice, etc.  Not pressing for too much information too soon.
2. Your doula asks questions beginning with - Who, What, Where, When, How
3. She does not ask leading questions with the answer "built in," i.e. "You're not going to do that are you?"
4. Your doula offers the information you request.
5. Your doula does not offer her own story unless requested by you, but may give insights when appropriate.
6. She is a reflective and interpretive listener.
7. She offers helpful feedback always keeping you and your desires at the forefront.
8. Your doula does not overwhelm you with what ifs, too many statistics or technical jargon.
9. She is supportive, positive and caring.
10. She is humble, genuine and empathetic.

In short, you are the primary focus of your doula.  Her opinions, desires, etc. do not come into play.  She is 100% focused on you and your experience.  She is there to listen, comfort, inform and gently guide you through your birthing journey ~ honouring it as your precious life experience.

All about our mom - by Sydne & Nicolaus

This idea was shared by fellow blogger PHDinParenting

Q1. Why did God make mothers? (modified question: What are mothers for?)

To love their children. (Sydne, age 6)
Because they have babies and they rock them to sleep.  (Nicolaus, age 4)

Q2. How did God make mothers? (modified question: How were mothers made?)

With water and love and care. (S)
Uh...I don't know (N)

Q3. What ingredients are mothers made of ?

Help, kindness, and love. (S)
I don't know!! (N)

Q4. Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mum? (modified question: Why am I your mommy your mommy instead of another woman being your mommy?)

Cause He knew you were the one who would love me. (S)
Uh...like...because God made you (N)

Q5. What kind of little girl was your mommy?

You were a girl who wanted to be a doula. (S)
You played Barbies and watched cartoons. (N)

Q6. What did Mommy need to know about Daddy before she married him?

That he was the perfect one. (S)
Dance then eat. (N)

Q7. Why did your Mommy marry (choose) your Daddy?

Cause you both have M's at the start of your names. (S)
Because it's nice. (N)

Q8. Who’s the boss at your house?

Our parents. (S)
You! (N)

Q9. What’s the difference between mommies and daddies?

It's because uh...girls wears skirts and boys wear pants. (S)  * Side note:  I hardly ever wear skirts!
Daddies are stinky and you smell nice. (N)

Q10. What does your mommy do in her spare time?

Read. (S)
Relax and computers. (N)

Q11. What would it take to make your mommy perfect?

Um...serve spaghetti everyday. That's more like it! (S)
More make-up. (N)

Q12. If you could change one thing about your mommy, what would it be?

No time outs. (S)
A pirate. (N)

I’d like to learn more about you too…would you ask your kids these questions, post the answers on your blog and link back here? Drop your post URL in the comments below too if you do